Train of Thought*

What the child draws, story tells:
This broad bold outline of an engine
pulling the fainter freight of a
foggy cargo, cutting a horizon
as it travels the slipping tracks of
steel and wooden ties.
Every charcoaled boxcar speeds
with steam,  wheels whirring on
rails, lines stretching past the
paper landscape, arching into hills
that linger on the picture’s edge.
Above, smudged wet clouds lumber
heavy with thunder and fingerprints
half in thought or sketch before
all rumbles off the page.

*This is an homage to David St. John’s sentences.  It is from a copychange exercise based on the first lines of his poem Until the Sea is Dead.  I like doing copychange as a way of understanding the architecture of a poem.  I think David St. John’s sentences are amazing – elegant and graceful with stunning curves.  So, this is a bit of an experiment in learning how to craft sentences intentionally.

This entry was posted in Kidstuff, Poetry. Bookmark the permalink.

What did you discover? Please share thoughts, links, comments below.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s